Sunday, 15 June 2008

  • Cherokee Indian Legend

    Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

    His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him
    alone.

    He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the
    blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.

    He cannot cry out for help to anyone.

    Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

    He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must
    come into manhood on his own.

    The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild
    beasts must surely be all around him.
    Maybe even some human might do him harm.

    The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat
    stoically, never removing the blindfold.

    It would be the only way he could become a man!

    Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his
    blindfold.

    It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to
    him.

    He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

    We, too, are never alone.

    Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us.

    When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

    If you like this story, pass it on.

    If not, perhaps you took off your blindfold before dawn.

    Moral of the Story: Just because you can't see God, doesn't mean He is not there.

    'For we walk by faith, not by sight.'  ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~

Thursday, 08 May 2008

  • THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH

    My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
    "Just wait until your father gets home."

    My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:.
    "You are going to get it when we get home!"

    My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE:
    "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

    My Mother taught me LOGIC:
    "Because I said so, that's why."
    &
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
    store with me."

    My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

    My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD:
    "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

    My Mother taught me ESP:
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

    My Mother taught me HUMOR:
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    My Mother taught me about SEX:
    "How do you think you got here?"

    My Mother taught me about GENETICS:
    "You're just like your father."

    My Mother taught me about my ROOTS:
    "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE:
    "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

    My Mother taught me about JUSTICE:
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll
    see what it's like."

    My mother taught me RELIGION:
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
    week!"

    My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    My mother taught me IRONY:
    "Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

    My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

    My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
    "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

    My mother taught me about STAMINA:
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

    My mother taught me about WEATHER:
    "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

    My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
    "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

    My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
    "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"

    My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    My mother taught me about ENVY:
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
    wonderful parents like you do!"

    =======

    A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it
    does.

    The next day in a written test, she included this question:

    "My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I
    pick up things. What am I?"

    When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that
    almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word "Mother."

Friday, 25 April 2008

  • * I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)
    * "Weather forecast for tonight: dark." --George Carlin, actor, comedian
    * I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.
    * Fix your eyes forward on what you can do, not back on what you cannot change. -- Tom Clancy
    * There is no place like the feet of Jesus for resolving the problems that perplex our hearts. - G. B. Duncan
    * The reason that the Ten Commandments are short and clear is that they were handed down direct, and not through
    several committees. ... Dan Bennett

    TGIF.......
    During a visit to the asylum, a visitor asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

    'Well,' said the director, 'we fill a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
    'Oh I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'


    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .







    'No.' said the director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

    ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON,
    OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?

Thursday, 24 April 2008


  • Remember the days when they wouldn't let you wiggle doing timbrels? We have come a long way.....

    Check out this video from the Regent Hall Band... amazing... some say dorky but I say amazing... for the SA I mean.

    Subject: Regent Hall band

    Here is the YouTube site for the Regent Hall show band! This is the link ... sorry I don't know how to put the video here yet.... but it's fun to watch.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvhpYfBtaas

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

  • Me in Houlton

    On a cold day in December, some years ago, a little boy, about 10-years-old, was
    standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the
    window, and shivering with cold.

    A lady approached the young boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep thought
    staring in that window."

    "I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.

    The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get
    half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a
    basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

    She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her
    gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

    By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair on the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

    She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on
    the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable now."

    As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up
    into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her, "Are you God's wife?"

    ============================

    Kindness is a witness that offends no one.

Thursday, 10 April 2008

Sunday, 06 April 2008

  • They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!
     
    Thank God for church ladies with word-processors.
    These sentences appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services. Read on....
     
    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
    --------------------------------------------
     The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
     --------------------------------
    Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.  Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
    ----------------------------------------------

    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    --------------------------------------------
    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
    --------------------------------------------
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
    --------------------------------------------
    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    ----------------------------------------------
    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    -----------------------------------------------
    Next T hursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.
    ----------------------------------------------
     The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:   "Break Forth Into Joy."
    --------------------------------------------
     Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Octo ber 24 in the church.   So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    --------------------------------------------
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    --------------------------------------------
    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    -----------------------------------------
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    --------------------------------------
    Please plac e your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    --------------------------------------------
    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
     ----------------------------------------------
    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
     -----------------------------------------
     The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
     --------------------------------------
    This evenin g at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepa red to sin.
    ----------------------------------------
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours". 

    ---------------------------------------------
    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is  done.
    ----------------------------------------------
    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
     --------------------------------------------
    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
    ------------------------------------------
    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Frid ay at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend t his tragedy.
    -------------------------------------------
    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Friday, 04 April 2008

  • Just tip me over and pour me out......

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Maple tree with tap and bucket "We are all cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out."
    Ray Bradbury

     

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

  • Perhaps you will remember this little story the next time your life seems burdened and you are searching for answers.  I hope that it blesses you 
    Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.'  
     
     She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.  
     She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.  
     
     When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the Bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'  
     
     She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.'  
     
     Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'    
     
     Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!  
     
     The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'  

    I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'  
     
         God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called.  
     
           Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him....   I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)  
     
           'You Gave Me A Mountain'

Thursday, 20 March 2008

  • Daffodils

    Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
    Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
    Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
    Had no army, yet kings feared Him.
    He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
    He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
    He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

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